— 𝐜 𝐨 𝐧 𝐭 𝐚 𝐜 𝐭
NOTE: I am forever backtag friendly and absolutely open to doing things from past events that won't really have an effect on things at any given time. For example, if you'd like to do something with Peter aged down or when he was his spider dream guide, etc.
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Why did you?
I never really knew why
[ Should he be asking this? What if it makes Fern angry, sets him off again? But..... Peter can't help voicing what he's been wondering, what he'd swallowed down over time because he was never really able to ask Fern directly. ]
I know it had something to do with Will, but I didn't really know what
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What he settles on isn't great, but at least it's an explanation.]
you're right, it was because of Will
he was
sort of like a dad to me
when he forgot me and remembered you
uh no it was even worse than that, he thought you were family
i lost it
[There is so, so much to unpack, but spilling all of it just feels like it would be making excuses. He doesn't want to do that, he just wants to give an answer.]
i was scared
that's all it was
i was scared he wasn't going to remember me and was going to abandon me for you
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There's a lot. Peter's left trying to work out how he feels right now, hearing these things from Fern. He thought of Will like a dad. That makes sense; he'd known they were close, and.... Fern was scared. Scared of being abandoned, replaced. Those are very human fears. Relatable ones. And an ache presses up under Peter's ribs because he does still feel the loss of Will, which makes him think of the loss of Ben, and he's having to swallow a couple of times. ]
I'm sorry
That you had to go through that
It must have been horrible to be forgotten like that
I'd never want to take someone's dad away from them
I know what it's like to lose a dad
[ That's one big reason he'd latched onto Ben so hard. He.... misses his father. Mom too, but Mom's different; it's complicated. But his dad... he was close with his dad. And Ben filled that in, and Peter's never really addressed that much before either, because it's always hurt too bad. ]
You remember Ben?
He was kind of like that for me, too
It sucks that they're both gone
I wish they weren't
[ As simple as the words are, it's the first time he's ever said this aloud. ]
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He doesn't expect to see the other boy trying to be so understanding, either. That's a lot to take, and he figures all of this would be a lot easier if he'd just get mad or something instead of empathizing.]
yeah, same
this town is the worst for sending them home
uh
i'm not surprised you were close to Ben
it seemed like you were
[He could tell that much during that short time they all stayed at Ben's home.]
uh when you say you know what it's like losing a dad that's who you mean right
Ben?
[He's sure that's all it is, but he wants to be certain. There's no way Peter could be in a situation like his, with a dead dad or a negligent dad who doesn't want him or a controlling dad who only wants him to be a weapon.
... Probably.]
cw: mention of parental death by..... burning up
My real dad
back home
He died
[ It's still surreal to type the word. Out of all the nightmarish deaths of his family, Steve's death had zero explanation for Peter. He doesn't know what happened or why. He's only left with the memory of the charred remains of his father, something that was only barely in the shape of a human anymore, and the.... smell of him. ]
I don't have any family left back home at all
So I get why having people here who are like family is
important
[ Admitting that to Fern isn't some ploy for sympathy; it's.... just a fact. One Peter can finally say aloud, now. His family are all dead, and he knows this. ]
Ben reminded me a lot of my dad
Was it like that for Will too?
cw: mention of parental death by..... burning up
It's all awful, and bringing dead dads into it makes it more awful. He knows what that's like - he knows exactly what that's like.]
no, he didn't
which is a good thing, mostly
my adoptive dad was really in-your-face and strong, he was great
he died too, though
my human dad and the wizard that made the Grass Sword are negligent, controlling jerks
[Ugh, he hates that he still has to use present-tense for the Grassy Wizard and Martin. It isn't fair.]
Will understood me in a way they don't
i know this doesn't help anything, but
sorry about your dad
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That discomfort on his side is deepening too, because he's kind of placed Fern in the "monster", even "demon" category for awhile there. Over time here, Peter's... learned that his concept of "monster" is skewed by his own experience and perspective, but it's been hard to shake that perception of Fern in particular, because of that frightening hostility. But....
....Kind of weird thinking about him as "monster" anymore. Especially now that Peter knows he's kind of a monster, too. ]
I'm sorry about yours, too
Your adoptive dad
Your other dads sound pretty shitty
Will and Ben were really good guys
I hope wherever they are now, they're together
[ A pause, and then...... ]
Do you have anything of Will's?
Or anything from him, left here
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... Peter probably thinks the same thing about his dad. That's a bizarre thought to have.]
they aren't great, yeah
i hope they are too
i'm not sure they were even from the same world, though
[That's a weird question.]
oh uh
he gave me his fishing rod
and a fly tying kit
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Yeah, true
I guess there's no way to ever know for sure
[ He... hasn't thought much on it. Maybe he hasn't been able to. What happens when someone goes home. Do they.... forget everyone they've met here? Everything that's happened? Was this all just some bad dream in the back of their mind? It's a..... sad thought, one that really hurts. But maybe it's time Peter faced reality a bit more. He's been sitting on the loss of people in this place for a long time. ]
This is probably going to sound really cheesy but
Having something of his is like
At least a way to remember he was really here
You know?
[ Aka, Peter's...... trying to be helpful. Because losing people hurts. And.... maybe Fern already knows what he's trying to say here, but he still wants to say it. ]
I have a ring left from Ben, too
Though I haven't looked at it since he left
[ .....Maybe he should. Ironically, the ring has plant-based powers. The Deerington universe seems to have a sense of humour when it comes to the connection between himself and Fern. ]
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you know, just in case
[It doesn't make things emotionally easier, but it's more practical when you take secret multiverse portal plans into consideration. It means not wasting time searching in one world for both of them.]
ohhh
yeah, that makes sense
it's
kind of a nice thought
[He is never going to let go of that fishing rod.]
a ring?
i didn't know Ben liked jewelry
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[ On his end, Peter falls too easily into a sense of pessimism — but it's kind of a safe place for him. False hope isn't something he'd ever allow himself to rely on for long; he often goes the opposite. Having no hope. There is a small part of him that still will gently hope maybe Ben and Will are together, but..... it's kept quiet. It still hurts a lot to think on. ]
I think it was something the town like
spawned for him?
Like the blessing basket thing, kind of
It has some kind of magic, but I haven't used it myself
It can like grow plants I think?
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wow, really?
dude, have you tried doing like
plant magic with it? do you know how it works?
[This is... weirdly piquing his interest. Though maybe it isn't so weird given it's probably coming from his octopus side. Either way, he figures it can't hurt to ask about.]
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I've been kind of scared to mess with it, honestly
But I do know Ben used it to make plants grow from like, his palm?
[ Whatever other capacities the ring has, Peter's unsure. But there's a pause because... well, of all people, Fern might be one to ask about it. Luna, too, and he makes a mental note to bring it up to her sometime soon. ]
Maybe you could take a look at it sometime?
You might be able to figure it out
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i uh
i get it
cursed plant objects can be dangerous
oh uh i don't know
[... Well, that would be true if he wasn't aware of the whole octopus thing. But it - he might be able to figure it out, if it's similar to what he used to be.]
no guarantees, but i could try?
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But if it has some kind of connection to Ben.... What if he's supposed to use it? Maybe he's in a place now where he could try to. And the offer being accepted makes him weirdly shy, because maybe he still wasn't exactly expecting that. Whatever's shifted between him and Fern is still so new. ]
Sure, yeah
We can try it sometime
I uh
I think I'll feel a lot better trying it out with someone who already knows a lot about plants
In case something does go wrong
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ha ha i don't really know much about plants
i never even did the gardening back home
i'm good at cutting plants up though, so if things go skronked sideways i can deal with it
it'll be fine
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......Which maybe makes sense, now that he's found out Fern has connections to humans? Has a human dad, even. Just... what happened to Fern? ]
Oh, my bad
I guess I thought you'd know about them because of
being who you are
[ He really hopes that doesn't read as insensitive. He has no idea what to ask or how, but this is some attempt to actually learn a bit more about Fern, whereas Peter had spent so much time being too afraid to in the past. ]
Not that it's weird or anything if you don't
I just uh
I thought maybe plants were like your 'thing', you know?
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you being fleshy doesn't mean you're an expert in uh
meat stuff
right?
[He worded that poorly, but he hopes he got the point across. Plants aren't his thing, have never been his thing, and unfortunately for him they're probably going to be his thing in the future, as he gets more used to this body.]
no
they never were
i'm grass because of the Grass Sword
back when i was Finn the sword i had before the Grass Sword broke
long story there
so i needed to get a new one
i bought the Grass Sword from the Grassy Wizard
it was eternally cursed
also it's me too
Finn got turned into the Finn Sword AKA another sword
and then both of the swords merged and made me
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[ He gets what Fern means, even if it involved words like "fleshy" and "meat stuff". Peter sure as hell isn't an expert in humans or how to be a good human or whatever else. He's kind of a failure at that, actually. ]
Holy crap, dude
That's a lot???
[ Peter has no idea where to even begin piecing all of that together, but the main point here is that Fern's clearly had a fucking complicated life???? Definitely not as simple as him just turning from human to a plant boy, apparently. He's also a sword? Or, two swords?? And Peter thought HIS life was a mess. ]
No wonder Paimon has his sights on you
He's really into magic and curses and stuff like that
[ He forever doesn't like talking about Paimon, but.... this has led into him wanting to ask. ]
Do you really... want to be his knight?
Or did he make you?
Because I can probably get Luna to make him leave you alone
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but i want to be his knight
[This is so surreal. Peter wants to help him, and he really doesn't deserve it. He really, really doesn't.]
i know it's weird and he's weird and you're
you're in a situation that sucks a lot
[As much as he likes Paimon, he can't deny that Peter is still in an awful situation that he didn't choose to be in. Peter doesn't deserve it.]
but i wasn't a very good knight back home
i'm not really a good knight in general
he makes me feel like i'm good at it, though
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You're not like
afraid of him?
He's apparently some bigwig demon from Hell
I don't know if you should trust him
[ But Fern addressing that this is weird for him and sucks a lot is something else he wasn't quite expecting, and it takes Peter a minute or two to form his own thoughts in response. ]
It's definitely really weird
I don't even know why he's here
Why he's inside me of all people
I just don't want anyone else to get hurt because of me
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just Dead Worlds, and some demons are nice
so i don't think that part is a big deal
[Paimon being a king is a bigger deal than the whole Hell demon thing, and he knows that's weird, but that's just who he is.
The rest of that is... kind of sad. And understandable, given Fern went through the whole why me? What am I? phase back in Ooo. It hadn't gone well, but at least it means he can offer a little advice here.]
maybe there isn't a reason
sometimes there isn't
sometimes life is just totally unfair and sucks and there's nothing you can do about it
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What kinds of things does he make you do?
If you can talk about it, I mean
I don't want to get you in trouble or anything with him
[ Peter's mental image is Paimon relentlessly ordering Fern around to do all kinds of dark deeds....
That next bit, though. It completely stuns the older teen, and he's just quiet for a long few moments. Paimon keeps saying Peter was given to him, and something fucking weird definitely happened to him back home. Some cult business, and Peter's been wondering why for so long. ]
I never thought about it like that, but that would be a lot more... freeing. [ He.... actually kind of wishes he could see it that way. It's no less awful, that random things just randomly happen to people, that maybe it's a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but... it's a bit better than thinking everything is some predestined fate, isn't it? ]
I guess I've been thinking about it like
I did something really bad
Back home
And maybe this happened to me because I deserve it, you know?
[ He's well aware this is a lot to say to Fern. It's... pretty personal. But Peter can talk about his guilt now, in ways. He can't let himself forget what he's done. ]
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mostly scavenging stuff for him and trying to protect Luna
she's really important to both of us
uh he also likes the plants that grow on me? so i give those to him sometimes
[Really, it's a far cry from what you'd expect from a demon king, and Fern has had no problems doing it all.
He isn't really sure if any of this applies to Peter, he just hopes it helps a little.]
like karma?
dog i doubt you did anything really bad back home
[Certainly nothing that results in a punishment like this. That seems like overkill.]
you're just a normal person, right?
not like a serial killer or anything
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Do you think he'd ever hurt Luna? Like.... I know he wants to protect her
But has he ever like... talked about owning her soul or something like that?
They made this....... pact together and I'm worried about her
[ He has a lot of concerns, okay..... He doesn't understand Paimon's not the soul-collecting kind of demon. ]
Not a serial killer exactly
But I probably count as a bad person by karma's standards
[ And "killer"..... is a word that resonates uncomfortably in him. Maybe it wasn't on purpose, but does it matter? It's because of him, and taking a life has to have some kind of weight on someone's soul. ]
So maybe I'm just like
A good place for something as messed up as a demon
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