possessum | — 𝐜 𝐨 𝐧 𝐭 𝐚 𝐜 𝐭

we don't got a Hell back home
just Dead Worlds, and some demons are nice
so i don't think that part is a big deal

[Paimon being a king is a bigger deal than the whole Hell demon thing, and he knows that's weird, but that's just who he is.

The rest of that is... kind of sad. And understandable, given Fern went through the whole why me? What am I? phase back in Ooo. It hadn't gone well, but at least it means he can offer a little advice here.]

maybe there isn't a reason
sometimes there isn't
sometimes life is just totally unfair and sucks and there's nothing you can do about it

[ It's not the first time Peter's hearing from someone that "demons" don't automatically mean "evil" the way they typically do where he comes from. He's... trying to understand. It's hard, when he still sees his particular demon as something bad, but. A lot of people seem to like Paimon. ]

What kinds of things does he make you do?
If you can talk about it, I mean
I don't want to get you in trouble or anything with him

[ Peter's mental image is Paimon relentlessly ordering Fern around to do all kinds of dark deeds....

That next bit, though. It completely stuns the older teen, and he's just quiet for a long few moments. Paimon keeps saying Peter was given to him, and something fucking weird definitely happened to him back home. Some cult business, and Peter's been wondering why for so long. ]

I never thought about it like that, but that would be a lot more... freeing. [ He.... actually kind of wishes he could see it that way. It's no less awful, that random things just randomly happen to people, that maybe it's a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but... it's a bit better than thinking everything is some predestined fate, isn't it? ]

I guess I've been thinking about it like
I did something really bad
Back home
And maybe this happened to me because I deserve it, you know?

[ He's well aware this is a lot to say to Fern. It's... pretty personal. But Peter can talk about his guilt now, in ways. He can't let himself forget what he's done. ]

i think it's ok, you already know about him so it's probably not a big deal
mostly scavenging stuff for him and trying to protect Luna
she's really important to both of us
uh he also likes the plants that grow on me? so i give those to him sometimes

[Really, it's a far cry from what you'd expect from a demon king, and Fern has had no problems doing it all.

He isn't really sure if any of this applies to Peter, he just hopes it helps a little.]

like karma?
dog i doubt you did anything really bad back home

[Certainly nothing that results in a punishment like this. That seems like overkill.]

you're just a normal person, right?
not like a serial killer or anything

[ Oh. That's all.... a lot less fearsome than what Peter was imagining. He still can't help seeing Paimon as something dangerous, a timebomb just waiting to bare its fangs and claws, but.... at least on the regular, he's not just up to Dark, Devious Things. But there is something Peter wants to ask, something he's still afraid of. ]

Do you think he'd ever hurt Luna? Like.... I know he wants to protect her
But has he ever like... talked about owning her soul or something like that?
They made this....... pact together and I'm worried about her

[ He has a lot of concerns, okay..... He doesn't understand Paimon's not the soul-collecting kind of demon. ]

Not a serial killer exactly
But I probably count as a bad person by karma's standards

[ And "killer"..... is a word that resonates uncomfortably in him. Maybe it wasn't on purpose, but does it matter? It's because of him, and taking a life has to have some kind of weight on someone's soul. ]

So maybe I'm just like
A good place for something as messed up as a demon

[Fern is a little surprised to see that question, though in hindsight... is it, really? Paimon is kind of an unknown quantity, which could make that pact sketchy as heck to just about anyone.]

i think she's safe
he wouldn't want me protecting her if he was going to take her soul or something donked up
he's not an evil jerk like Marceline's dad
anyways, i'm going to try my best to not let anything like that happen to her

[That... sounds like a whole lot of very familiar self-loathing. Fern had no idea Peter felt like this, and while it's probably easier for both of them to not poke a little, he kind of wants to.]

dude
why do you think you're a bad person?

[What on earth did you do, Peter?]

You think so?
I'm just like
Why is he wanting to protect her so much? What's he want with her?
That kind of thing, you know?

[ Confiding in Fern about his worries over Luna is not a thing he ever expected to happen. But given Fern's one of the closest people to Paimon.... Peter does take weight in his words. ]

Is Marceline's dad some kind of demon, too?

[ He's willing to learn any helpful information he can, here. He's... also more willing to talk about said sources of his own self-loathing, lately. It's uncomfortable and hurts and he hates addressing it, but at the same time he almost needs to. Like a way to punish himself, maybe. Because ignoring it like it never happened lets people keep thinking he's some good person, and he's not. ]

Because of me, someone died
Back home

A kid
I was supposed to protect her and I didn't
And she died

i'm not sure he wants anything with her
i mean she's one of the best people in town
i don't want anything with her and i'd still want to protect her even if Paimon hadn't asked me

[He, of course, is going to think the best of both of Luna and Paimon since he cares about them.]

i think so? maybe?
he rules the Nightosphere which is where all the demons back home are from

[Oh. Oh. So it's complicated.]

geez that's uh
i know what that's like
someone dying on your watch
because you weren't good enough
sorry, man

She really is
I've never ever met anyone as nice as her
I can see how like... anybody would want to protect her

[ It's still hard for him to accept that Paimon doesn't have some ulterior motive there. Like there's the fact she's a witch, but even then.... what happens after that? What does he get out of this? Is it really just that he needs to form a connection with a witch....? Companionship? ]

Are the demons in your world like
evil?

[ Oh.... Oh. He... wasn't expecting that Fern could relate to that. And it's certainly not a pleasant thing to be able to relate about. ]

I'm sorry you know what it's like, too
Did it um
Did it happen in this place? Or before?
It happened back home, for me
So I think maybe I came here because of that
With him inside me
As punishment

right? anyone who doesn't is crazy
plus she's really strong
she can take care of herself, i don't think you need to worry

sometimes? they're just people like anyone else though
i think one of my brother works with one
he's a painter

[Fern is really wishing this wasn't something he could relate to, because it's an awful, awful thing they're bonding over.]

it happened a couple times back home
way back when i was human

i don't think being here is punishment for that, dude
i don't think Paimon is either
i think your life just sucks a lot
like mine does

Yeah, you're right. She's hella strong
I'm glad she has people who have her back, too

[ He'll probably always worry himself to death about things, but..... it is good that there are people to watch out for her. And that includes Fern. Peter's pretty sure if Paimon ever tried to hurt her, Fern would be able to stop him. ]

They're definitely not a normal thing where I'm from
Like horror movie kind of stuff

[ It is a very hard, strange thing to relate to someone over, but.... Peter is genuinely listening to Fern's words and taking them in. Whatever the particular circumstances in his own situation with that, Fern's someone who understands, and that's.... a big thing. ]

That really, really sucks
It's the worst because there's like
nothing you can ever really do to make up for it
It's just always gonna be there
That's the thing that gets to me the most

[ There's maybe a little echo of a laugh at that on his end. ]

Here's to sucky lives

We can hold club meetings and have snacks

it's a good thing to have around here

[Since Deerington has a habit of messing with people in a way they can't always defend themselves from on their own.]

that's so weird
but then multiverse junk usually is

[This is such a big, surreal thing. Fern is pretty sure he's going to be weirded out long after this conversation is finished.]

ha ha yup
i bet a club like that would be really popular here
we'd have a ton of members

[ It's definitely... a conversation that will be on Peter's mind for a long time afterward, too. It still feels pretty surreal, except it's also too real in so many ways. It'll take him awhile to absorb his own weird feeling about it, but he doesn't have a regretful feeling about saying everything he's said, to Fern...? Which feels weird in itself to say. ]

I guess Deerington sure knows how to pick em
Town of misery here

But uh
Thanks
For talking to me and everything

[ He hasn't forgotten Fern's initial apology. He's still unsure entirely how to feel, but he definitely feels.... different towards the other boy, after all of this. ]

And don't worry about Paimon
He'll be okay when he finds out you're back
I guess he's asleep right now or else he'd probably be trying to talk to you himself

worst town ever

oh yeah
thanks for being um
really understanding and everything

[He never, ever expected this conversation to go as well as it has.]

that's cool
if he starts wigging you out uh
just call me
doesn't matter if it's the middle of the night or whatever

It's uh
It's cool

[ Peter can hardly believe he's saying that, but.... he thinks it's cool? What's happened between him and Fern over time here has been... a big thing, and Peter's not sure what might have changed it. Why Fern's had this change of heart, if that's what it is. There'll maybe be some worries that it won't last, that the other boy might turn vicious towards him again the next time he sees him, but Peter also knows people change, especially in this place? And he's grown so tired. Maybe Fern has, too.

For now, they've... come together about some things, and bonded over some things? And it may feel weird, but it also doesn't feel bad. ]

I appreciate that
Legit
He gets bad at night sometimes
With nightmares and stuff

[ Being able to call Paimon's friend (slash knight) to calm his unstable ass down if needed will... honestly really, really help. ]

[This is definitely a bizarre situation. Fern had been expecting the absolute worst, as he usually does, but this had gone... fine, of all things.

His own feelings towards Peter are now more complicated than ever. The two of them have way more in common than he ever realized, and it's mostly bad stuff so it sucks a lot, but it's kind of nice not being alone. This weird sense of almost comradery has replaced the jealousy that had bloomed way back when they were on the Titanic, so that's good?]

i know what that's like
um it's no big deal

[ There's a lot of "ums" and "uhs" going on between the two of them, which makes Peter think Fern's feeling just as awkward about this, maybe..?? And the process of ending the conversation is definitely awkward. But again, not... bad. ]

I guess I'll uh
Talk to you later

[ This is really a thing that's just happened, and Peter's just going to spend some time thinking about it for awhile. ]

— 𝐜 𝐨 𝐧 𝐭 𝐚 𝐜 𝐭

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