( Peter's smoking quietly β slow and lazy, easy. It's been awhile since he actually smoked with someone else; Peter's.... hardly a sociable stoner. More the kind that keeps locked up in his room with all the lights out, gazing numbly at the wall!
....But every once in awhile, this is nice, too. )
Damn.... that's a lot to have dumped on your shoulders. ( He remarks softly, lowering his hand from his mouth to rest on his knee for a moment, joint pinched gently between his fingers. )
...I just realised that's how old I was when I came to Deerington. ( He's not sure if acquiring a demon at age sixteen is the same thing as gaining some kind of superpowers. ....Sounds like something neither of them really asked for, in any case. And he's feeling relaxed enough now that he lets his thoughts kind of trail along, speaking slow and soft. )
It wasn't even that long ago, but... for some reason, sixteen feels so far away? I guess so much was going on back then, but... I was totally out of it. Totally messed up when I came to Deer. Like I didn't know what I was doing, I keptβ getting lost... but Wade was keeping an eye on me and Henry from next door.... saved my ass a couple times.
( There's a short pause, like he's surprised himself. Saying the names of the people who aren't here anymore always feels like that. But then he brings it back to Peter, Peter the superhero, with a little smile. )
βFunny enough, I thought he was some kind of a superhero too, the first time I met him.
[Peter laughs softly, his eyes shimmering with soft, loving remembrance.]
Wade probably wouldn't admit it, but there were definitely a few times he wound up a bonafide superhero... I miss him a lot. I hope I'll get to see him out there β wherever we end up, as Sleepers. I've got a lot to talk about with him.
[There's so many people who've vanished.
So many people over the years who've come and gone, and yet their influence is impossible to quantify...]
... Actually, I think maybe I'll get to test that soon.
I can totally see that. ( In regards to the whole Wade winding up a superhero thing. The man had been adamant to Peter that he wasn't a hero, but.... you don't help a pair of broken down, sad teenagers living in a big old house all by themselves, and not count as something of a hero.
Plus, he'd given Peter a lot of weed back then. )
You think we'd ever get to see them again? ( It's said with a bit of surprise, and it's kind of rhetorical, a concept that's so out there and so... strange. Peter hasn't even thought about it, really. He's kind of accepted that this is... it. It's sad, and it hurts, but he doesn't think he'll ever see any of the people who have vanished, again. But...?
He's frowning, confused, not understanding what Peter's talking about. )
Test it out? Are you planning some kind of science experiment thing?
... We might get to see them again. No, I think we for sure will see them again. The people here, they're not here forever. But they're never gone forever, too. In that way... we're always destined to meet again. At least, that's what I feel. But I have a good knack for this kinds of things.
[His soft smile certainly becomes sadder at that.
... Well. No other time than now, right? He turns to look at the teenager. Apologetic.]
... I think... I'll be joining them soon. The people who vanished, I mean. Something's been happening, these last few days. At first I wasn't sure what, but now I'm pretty sure.
( Of course he hasn't forgotten about the so-recent loss of Diarmuid. It's right there in him, but Peter's method of coping with things has always been to swallow it down somewhere deep and dark so it doesn't hurt so much. He hasn't forgotten, but hearing this now feels almost like he's remembering it all of a sudden. Like the moment just after you wake up and it takes you a few seconds to recall what you were trying to forget about in sleep. It hurts all over again like a fresh wound, that little pang of remembering.
It's there, so sudden, the loss of one of his dearest friends. That odd little pang where it hits all over again.
Peter blinks, eyelids fluttering for a moment before he just stares, and he's not smiling at all anymore. )
You're leaving?
( Though it's voiced as a question, Peter doesn't question the validity of the concept. He knows full-well that it's real and true. But it's clear that it wounds him; he looks like he's just been hit. )
[What a wild life he's lead, man. Ever since he got bit by that spider... just one big rollercoaster ride. Now he's sitting in a town born from an alien child's powers, smoking weed with a teenager. Who'd have thunk it? Despite the vanishing of PG's smile, his remains, albeit a little less vibrant as usual.]
... The ocean's pulling me back in.
Like a sand dollar on the beach, you know? Waves pushed us here, and they can take us away again.
( It's not an unfamiliar concept, not by now, after Diarmuid. Still... It's a tough pill to swallow. Peter still hasn't worked it down from his dear friend: that pill is still lodged there somewhere in his throat, making it feel tight. )
You came to say goodbye. ( He says softly, looking down at his lap. Like Diarmuid had. At least this time, they're... able to say goodbye. It's not something Peter was ever afforded with his own family: there were no goodbyes. They were just there and then they weren't. Like through Deerington.
And though it's not a death that Diarmuid and Peter are facing, it feels kind of like one. Peter has to take a moment before he asks, swallowing against the swell of his throat. )
Peter considers that carefully. Truth be told... he's not usually scared of anything that happens to him. It's a fear of seeing it all happen to everyone else that truly frightens him. But... He does admit, the idea of vanishing into the deep dark of that endless ocean isn't an appealing thought; his stomach sinks at the idea.
... Still.]
I think... I'm more scared of leaving all of you here without more help.
( Of course his answer would be like that. It's not surprising β the concern for the others left behind. Whether he's Spider-Man or Peter Parker, he's always been someone to take care of others.
Peter stares down at his hands, the joint that's still grasped between two fingers. After a moment he raises it again to his mouth, inhaling slowly. The fear of being left behind is a powerful one, but... the fear of leaving others behind is just as hard. Not knowing if they'll be okay, not being able to help protect them...
Finally, Peter looks back up to his teacher. Maybe it's his turn to reassure, now. )
We're gonna be okay. I know that soundsβ stupid to say in a place like this, but...
...But we will. We'll help each other. ( His brows knit, emotion finding its way gently into his tone. They will; they'll all help each other, the way Mr. P's done up until now. )
[Peter smiles at that. It's a sad sort of smile, but...]
I know you guys will. There'll be hiccups, but I've seen so many of you guys taking care of each other over the years. Saving each other. You don't need a Spider-Man, and I guess that... that helps it all feel a little less scary.
I'm still sorry, though. You shouldn't have to find a way to be okay in a place like this.
I thought... I had hoped it would be better. Then Deerington.
[Knowing that he hadn't walked with them into an easier, kinder world...
It's definitely not better, is it. ( He agrees with the other man, quietly. ) I think in a lot of ways, it's kind of... worse.
( He's..... changing, in this place. He can feel it, and not even subtly. Peter knows full-well that something is happening to him. )
But I think I'm just going to have to... find a new version of myself that can have a life here. Maybe we all are.
....And if you need to leave now, I think... you won't have to stop protecting us. You'll still be doing it. Out there in the ocean, you know? You'll be able to watch over us there, too.
( He doesn't know if Diarmuid remembers him anymore. If maybe he's forgotten everything, but even if he has... there's still some quiet comfort in knowing that he's out there somewhere. And at the core of him... he's the same being Peter's grown to love. He'll always be. Peter Parker will still be Peter Parker, too, and he'll still try to protect people in whatever ways he can, out there. Peter Graham is sure of that. )
You might not even need me around; you're a tough guy.
You probably don't think it, but you are. I have an eye for these things, y'know.
[But after a moment, he passes what's left of his blunt over to Peter. Even with spider powers, he's always been kind of a lightweight. It leaves him feeling calmer, a little less frazzled. Which β honestly, is just what he needed.]
I know you guys will protect each other when you really need to... but I like that thought. I'm gonna do my best to look out for my Sleepers if I can. And if you see a creepy tentacle waving at you, it might just be me. So don't be rude, okay?
[He moves to stand.]
And don't get into any drugs harder than that. [He wags his finger at the weed in question.] I mean it!
( Peter gives a soft little smile at that β hand reaching slowly to take the rest of the joint from the older man, watching him stand. There's a quiet laugh at the creepy tentacle remark; he'll be keeping an eye out.
...He doesn't want to say goodbye. That thing in his chest twists again, and he tries to keep smiling. It's hard to. He wants to cry a little, like a kid.
But he knows the fact that he's being given a chance to say goodbye, after all those other times he wasn't? It means everything.
So Peter stands too, and while usually he'd ask permission first, actually takes the initiative all on his own this time. His arms wrap around his teacher (friend), and he gives a warm squeeze. )
There's a lot of mushrooms around here, though. I can't promise I'm not gonna fall to temptation.
[It's a nice hug, Pete, good job. He doesn't waste any time in returning it, warm in its delivery, full of fondness. He's a good kid. A good guy with a lot of good friends who can be there for him; he has to believe that, or he'll hurt himself trying to stay here. With a little laugh and the shake of his head, he pulls back and winks.]
Yeah, well. I think you're safe from cops knocking at your door for mushroom searches.
Take care of yourself, Peter.
[He steps back toward the window, crouches down through it, and vanishes from the window with a 'thwip' and a rush of air; soon he'll be gone from the town, leaving a half-used blunt and an unwrapped birthday gift. Be good to yourself, bud.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
....But every once in awhile, this is nice, too. )
Damn.... that's a lot to have dumped on your shoulders. ( He remarks softly, lowering his hand from his mouth to rest on his knee for a moment, joint pinched gently between his fingers. )
...I just realised that's how old I was when I came to Deerington. ( He's not sure if acquiring a demon at age sixteen is the same thing as gaining some kind of superpowers. ....Sounds like something neither of them really asked for, in any case. And he's feeling relaxed enough now that he lets his thoughts kind of trail along, speaking slow and soft. )
It wasn't even that long ago, but... for some reason, sixteen feels so far away? I guess so much was going on back then, but... I was totally out of it. Totally messed up when I came to Deer. Like I didn't know what I was doing, I keptβ getting lost... but Wade was keeping an eye on me and Henry from next door.... saved my ass a couple times.
( There's a short pause, like he's surprised himself. Saying the names of the people who aren't here anymore always feels like that. But then he brings it back to Peter, Peter the superhero, with a little smile. )
βFunny enough, I thought he was some kind of a superhero too, the first time I met him.
no subject
Wade probably wouldn't admit it, but there were definitely a few times he wound up a bonafide superhero... I miss him a lot. I hope I'll get to see him out there β wherever we end up, as Sleepers. I've got a lot to talk about with him.
[There's so many people who've vanished.
So many people over the years who've come and gone, and yet their influence is impossible to quantify...]
... Actually, I think maybe I'll get to test that soon.
Figuring out where the others vanished to.
no subject
Plus, he'd given Peter a lot of weed back then. )
You think we'd ever get to see them again? ( It's said with a bit of surprise, and it's kind of rhetorical, a concept that's so out there and so... strange. Peter hasn't even thought about it, really. He's kind of accepted that this is... it. It's sad, and it hurts, but he doesn't think he'll ever see any of the people who have vanished, again. But...?
He's frowning, confused, not understanding what Peter's talking about. )
Test it out? Are you planning some kind of science experiment thing?
no subject
[His soft smile certainly becomes sadder at that.
... Well. No other time than now, right? He turns to look at the teenager. Apologetic.]
... I think... I'll be joining them soon. The people who vanished, I mean. Something's been happening, these last few days. At first I wasn't sure what, but now I'm pretty sure.
no subject
It's there, so sudden, the loss of one of his dearest friends. That odd little pang where it hits all over again.
Peter blinks, eyelids fluttering for a moment before he just stares, and he's not smiling at all anymore. )
You're leaving?
( Though it's voiced as a question, Peter doesn't question the validity of the concept. He knows full-well that it's real and true. But it's clear that it wounds him; he looks like he's just been hit. )
no subject
... The ocean's pulling me back in.
Like a sand dollar on the beach, you know? Waves pushed us here, and they can take us away again.
no subject
You came to say goodbye. ( He says softly, looking down at his lap. Like Diarmuid had. At least this time, they're... able to say goodbye. It's not something Peter was ever afforded with his own family: there were no goodbyes. They were just there and then they weren't. Like through Deerington.
And though it's not a death that Diarmuid and Peter are facing, it feels kind of like one. Peter has to take a moment before he asks, swallowing against the swell of his throat. )
....Are you scared? To go back in there.
no subject
... Still.]
I think... I'm more scared of leaving all of you here without more help.
I hate that I won't be there to do that.
no subject
Peter stares down at his hands, the joint that's still grasped between two fingers. After a moment he raises it again to his mouth, inhaling slowly. The fear of being left behind is a powerful one, but... the fear of leaving others behind is just as hard. Not knowing if they'll be okay, not being able to help protect them...
Finally, Peter looks back up to his teacher. Maybe it's his turn to reassure, now. )
We're gonna be okay. I know that soundsβ stupid to say in a place like this, but...
...But we will. We'll help each other. ( His brows knit, emotion finding its way gently into his tone. They will; they'll all help each other, the way Mr. P's done up until now. )
It's okay. We'll be okay.
no subject
I know you guys will. There'll be hiccups, but I've seen so many of you guys taking care of each other over the years. Saving each other. You don't need a Spider-Man, and I guess that... that helps it all feel a little less scary.
I'm still sorry, though. You shouldn't have to find a way to be okay in a place like this.
I thought... I had hoped it would be better. Then Deerington.
[Knowing that he hadn't walked with them into an easier, kinder world...
It was a terrible blow.]
no subject
( He's..... changing, in this place. He can feel it, and not even subtly. Peter knows full-well that something is happening to him. )
But I think I'm just going to have to... find a new version of myself that can have a life here. Maybe we all are.
....And if you need to leave now, I think... you won't have to stop protecting us. You'll still be doing it. Out there in the ocean, you know? You'll be able to watch over us there, too.
( He doesn't know if Diarmuid remembers him anymore. If maybe he's forgotten everything, but even if he has... there's still some quiet comfort in knowing that he's out there somewhere. And at the core of him... he's the same being Peter's grown to love. He'll always be. Peter Parker will still be Peter Parker, too, and he'll still try to protect people in whatever ways he can, out there. Peter Graham is sure of that. )
no subject
You might not even need me around; you're a tough guy.
You probably don't think it, but you are. I have an eye for these things, y'know.
[But after a moment, he passes what's left of his blunt over to Peter. Even with spider powers, he's always been kind of a lightweight. It leaves him feeling calmer, a little less frazzled. Which β honestly, is just what he needed.]
I know you guys will protect each other when you really need to... but I like that thought. I'm gonna do my best to look out for my Sleepers if I can. And if you see a creepy tentacle waving at you, it might just be me. So don't be rude, okay?
[He moves to stand.]
And don't get into any drugs harder than that. [He wags his finger at the weed in question.] I mean it!
no subject
...He doesn't want to say goodbye. That thing in his chest twists again, and he tries to keep smiling. It's hard to. He wants to cry a little, like a kid.
But he knows the fact that he's being given a chance to say goodbye, after all those other times he wasn't? It means everything.
So Peter stands too, and while usually he'd ask permission first, actually takes the initiative all on his own this time. His arms wrap around his teacher (friend), and he gives a warm squeeze. )
There's a lot of mushrooms around here, though. I can't promise I'm not gonna fall to temptation.
no subject
Yeah, well. I think you're safe from cops knocking at your door for mushroom searches.
Take care of yourself, Peter.
[He steps back toward the window, crouches down through it, and vanishes from the window with a 'thwip' and a rush of air; soon he'll be gone from the town, leaving a half-used blunt and an unwrapped birthday gift. Be good to yourself, bud.
And seriously, no hard drugs.]
β€ β€ β€
Peter pulls back, smiling at the older man. )
You too, dude. ( And he's moving to his window as he zooms away β hands on the windowsill, leaning out of it to call out. )
Take care, Peter...!
( Then he's watching until the other is gone, and for a little while after that, too. )