( It's not an unfamiliar concept, not by now, after Diarmuid. Still... It's a tough pill to swallow. Peter still hasn't worked it down from his dear friend: that pill is still lodged there somewhere in his throat, making it feel tight. )
You came to say goodbye. ( He says softly, looking down at his lap. Like Diarmuid had. At least this time, they're... able to say goodbye. It's not something Peter was ever afforded with his own family: there were no goodbyes. They were just there and then they weren't. Like through Deerington.
And though it's not a death that Diarmuid and Peter are facing, it feels kind of like one. Peter has to take a moment before he asks, swallowing against the swell of his throat. )
Peter considers that carefully. Truth be told... he's not usually scared of anything that happens to him. It's a fear of seeing it all happen to everyone else that truly frightens him. But... He does admit, the idea of vanishing into the deep dark of that endless ocean isn't an appealing thought; his stomach sinks at the idea.
... Still.]
I think... I'm more scared of leaving all of you here without more help.
( Of course his answer would be like that. It's not surprising β the concern for the others left behind. Whether he's Spider-Man or Peter Parker, he's always been someone to take care of others.
Peter stares down at his hands, the joint that's still grasped between two fingers. After a moment he raises it again to his mouth, inhaling slowly. The fear of being left behind is a powerful one, but... the fear of leaving others behind is just as hard. Not knowing if they'll be okay, not being able to help protect them...
Finally, Peter looks back up to his teacher. Maybe it's his turn to reassure, now. )
We're gonna be okay. I know that soundsβ stupid to say in a place like this, but...
...But we will. We'll help each other. ( His brows knit, emotion finding its way gently into his tone. They will; they'll all help each other, the way Mr. P's done up until now. )
[Peter smiles at that. It's a sad sort of smile, but...]
I know you guys will. There'll be hiccups, but I've seen so many of you guys taking care of each other over the years. Saving each other. You don't need a Spider-Man, and I guess that... that helps it all feel a little less scary.
I'm still sorry, though. You shouldn't have to find a way to be okay in a place like this.
I thought... I had hoped it would be better. Then Deerington.
[Knowing that he hadn't walked with them into an easier, kinder world...
It's definitely not better, is it. ( He agrees with the other man, quietly. ) I think in a lot of ways, it's kind of... worse.
( He's..... changing, in this place. He can feel it, and not even subtly. Peter knows full-well that something is happening to him. )
But I think I'm just going to have to... find a new version of myself that can have a life here. Maybe we all are.
....And if you need to leave now, I think... you won't have to stop protecting us. You'll still be doing it. Out there in the ocean, you know? You'll be able to watch over us there, too.
( He doesn't know if Diarmuid remembers him anymore. If maybe he's forgotten everything, but even if he has... there's still some quiet comfort in knowing that he's out there somewhere. And at the core of him... he's the same being Peter's grown to love. He'll always be. Peter Parker will still be Peter Parker, too, and he'll still try to protect people in whatever ways he can, out there. Peter Graham is sure of that. )
You might not even need me around; you're a tough guy.
You probably don't think it, but you are. I have an eye for these things, y'know.
[But after a moment, he passes what's left of his blunt over to Peter. Even with spider powers, he's always been kind of a lightweight. It leaves him feeling calmer, a little less frazzled. Which β honestly, is just what he needed.]
I know you guys will protect each other when you really need to... but I like that thought. I'm gonna do my best to look out for my Sleepers if I can. And if you see a creepy tentacle waving at you, it might just be me. So don't be rude, okay?
[He moves to stand.]
And don't get into any drugs harder than that. [He wags his finger at the weed in question.] I mean it!
( Peter gives a soft little smile at that β hand reaching slowly to take the rest of the joint from the older man, watching him stand. There's a quiet laugh at the creepy tentacle remark; he'll be keeping an eye out.
...He doesn't want to say goodbye. That thing in his chest twists again, and he tries to keep smiling. It's hard to. He wants to cry a little, like a kid.
But he knows the fact that he's being given a chance to say goodbye, after all those other times he wasn't? It means everything.
So Peter stands too, and while usually he'd ask permission first, actually takes the initiative all on his own this time. His arms wrap around his teacher (friend), and he gives a warm squeeze. )
There's a lot of mushrooms around here, though. I can't promise I'm not gonna fall to temptation.
[It's a nice hug, Pete, good job. He doesn't waste any time in returning it, warm in its delivery, full of fondness. He's a good kid. A good guy with a lot of good friends who can be there for him; he has to believe that, or he'll hurt himself trying to stay here. With a little laugh and the shake of his head, he pulls back and winks.]
Yeah, well. I think you're safe from cops knocking at your door for mushroom searches.
Take care of yourself, Peter.
[He steps back toward the window, crouches down through it, and vanishes from the window with a 'thwip' and a rush of air; soon he'll be gone from the town, leaving a half-used blunt and an unwrapped birthday gift. Be good to yourself, bud.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
You came to say goodbye. ( He says softly, looking down at his lap. Like Diarmuid had. At least this time, they're... able to say goodbye. It's not something Peter was ever afforded with his own family: there were no goodbyes. They were just there and then they weren't. Like through Deerington.
And though it's not a death that Diarmuid and Peter are facing, it feels kind of like one. Peter has to take a moment before he asks, swallowing against the swell of his throat. )
....Are you scared? To go back in there.
no subject
... Still.]
I think... I'm more scared of leaving all of you here without more help.
I hate that I won't be there to do that.
no subject
Peter stares down at his hands, the joint that's still grasped between two fingers. After a moment he raises it again to his mouth, inhaling slowly. The fear of being left behind is a powerful one, but... the fear of leaving others behind is just as hard. Not knowing if they'll be okay, not being able to help protect them...
Finally, Peter looks back up to his teacher. Maybe it's his turn to reassure, now. )
We're gonna be okay. I know that soundsβ stupid to say in a place like this, but...
...But we will. We'll help each other. ( His brows knit, emotion finding its way gently into his tone. They will; they'll all help each other, the way Mr. P's done up until now. )
It's okay. We'll be okay.
no subject
I know you guys will. There'll be hiccups, but I've seen so many of you guys taking care of each other over the years. Saving each other. You don't need a Spider-Man, and I guess that... that helps it all feel a little less scary.
I'm still sorry, though. You shouldn't have to find a way to be okay in a place like this.
I thought... I had hoped it would be better. Then Deerington.
[Knowing that he hadn't walked with them into an easier, kinder world...
It was a terrible blow.]
no subject
( He's..... changing, in this place. He can feel it, and not even subtly. Peter knows full-well that something is happening to him. )
But I think I'm just going to have to... find a new version of myself that can have a life here. Maybe we all are.
....And if you need to leave now, I think... you won't have to stop protecting us. You'll still be doing it. Out there in the ocean, you know? You'll be able to watch over us there, too.
( He doesn't know if Diarmuid remembers him anymore. If maybe he's forgotten everything, but even if he has... there's still some quiet comfort in knowing that he's out there somewhere. And at the core of him... he's the same being Peter's grown to love. He'll always be. Peter Parker will still be Peter Parker, too, and he'll still try to protect people in whatever ways he can, out there. Peter Graham is sure of that. )
no subject
You might not even need me around; you're a tough guy.
You probably don't think it, but you are. I have an eye for these things, y'know.
[But after a moment, he passes what's left of his blunt over to Peter. Even with spider powers, he's always been kind of a lightweight. It leaves him feeling calmer, a little less frazzled. Which β honestly, is just what he needed.]
I know you guys will protect each other when you really need to... but I like that thought. I'm gonna do my best to look out for my Sleepers if I can. And if you see a creepy tentacle waving at you, it might just be me. So don't be rude, okay?
[He moves to stand.]
And don't get into any drugs harder than that. [He wags his finger at the weed in question.] I mean it!
no subject
...He doesn't want to say goodbye. That thing in his chest twists again, and he tries to keep smiling. It's hard to. He wants to cry a little, like a kid.
But he knows the fact that he's being given a chance to say goodbye, after all those other times he wasn't? It means everything.
So Peter stands too, and while usually he'd ask permission first, actually takes the initiative all on his own this time. His arms wrap around his teacher (friend), and he gives a warm squeeze. )
There's a lot of mushrooms around here, though. I can't promise I'm not gonna fall to temptation.
no subject
Yeah, well. I think you're safe from cops knocking at your door for mushroom searches.
Take care of yourself, Peter.
[He steps back toward the window, crouches down through it, and vanishes from the window with a 'thwip' and a rush of air; soon he'll be gone from the town, leaving a half-used blunt and an unwrapped birthday gift. Be good to yourself, bud.
And seriously, no hard drugs.]
β€ β€ β€
Peter pulls back, smiling at the older man. )
You too, dude. ( And he's moving to his window as he zooms away β hands on the windowsill, leaning out of it to call out. )
Take care, Peter...!
( Then he's watching until the other is gone, and for a little while after that, too. )