— 𝐜 𝐨 𝐧 𝐭 𝐚 𝐜 𝐭

[possessum]

action / text / video / etc.
NOTE: I am forever backtag friendly and absolutely open to doing things from past events that won't really have an effect on things at any given time. For example, if you'd like to do something with Peter aged down or when he was his spider dream guide, etc.

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[micycle]

[There's a moment's silence, a muted sniffle, the quiet movement of something that scrapes. He's bundled in a blanket on the rooftop of his house, the closest to privacy that the packed dwelling provides. Only Will even knows the whole truth of that night.]

... A-all of it. [A quick pause, and then a hurried addition: ] But I've seen worse. You really don't have to worry about me.

[And even if it does little to convince anyone that Mike wasn't utterly traumatized by the sight, it's certainly true. A car accident can't compare to what happened to Brianna, inches away from him, or to what he saw in Hawkins Lab.]

[possessum]

[ All of it.

But he's seen worse, which Peter doesn't exactly doubt; he's pretty sure Mike, and Will, and a lot of them, have seen things infinitely worse than car accidents. But it's still— an awful thing, a thing that nobody his age should ever have to see, no matter what.

Peter's own breath is shuddery, rough and rippling inhales that seem to be difficult for him to keep up, like he's cold. ]

Mike, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have had to see that. You—

[ The guilt feels corrosive in him and cuts off his own words, and Peter leans over a little where he's sitting on his bed, leans into the ache of his stomach muscles. Suddenly, he's almost afraid to say the four words. He doesn't know why. They just hurt.

But he says them, voice strained at the edges, just barely staving off a whine-sound. ]

It wasn't your fault.

[micycle]

It was.

[It bursts out of him, too loud, almost desperate, almost an accusation. Like he's trying to persuade Peter of something he knows the boy won't accept. This isn't what Mike deserves to hear. Why can't Peter understand that? Why can't he just admit that Mike isn't worthy of this apology?]

It wouldn't have happened if I wasn't there. That's fault.

[possessum]

[ That desperation is so familiar, because there are two ghosts living in Peter: one that constantly whispers it was all your fault and the other that just needed someone, anyone to tell him it wasn't. ...And someone had, here. Someone he loves, trusts, someone who knows him. She'd held him and told him what happened wasn't his fault, and half of him couldn't believe her and the other half clung to those words like it was a lifeline. He's still... both parts of it. His guilt is a part of him now, like some piece of his identity. So maybe it's hypocritical to tell this boy otherwise now, but— ]

It could have been anyone. Any time. It wouldn't have happened if I wasn't there, either. [ Maybe it's easier to be objective when you're trying to help someone else. When you can't stand to see someone else blame themself the way you do. ]

It's okay. It was just an accident. I don't— blame you.