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NOTE: I am forever backtag friendly and absolutely open to doing things from past events that won't really have an effect on things at any given time. For example, if you'd like to do something with Peter aged down or when he was his spider dream guide, etc.
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[ Somewhere, Benedict Dearborn is just very proud right now.
Of course there's humour to it, it radiates from her in return. But she is very matter of fact about this, too. Still, the feelings she gets from him warm her in a way that is comforting. A genuine fondness of her that makes her both bashful and accepted.
This is nice, she thinks. Gentle banter she's not used to, the feel of his smile. It feels so normal, something anyone her age would experience β and here she is, actually experiencing it.
Any jitters of anxiousness with asking are soon gone, Peter's timid warmth answering her question long before he replies. She feels relieved in a way, but she's now especially looking forward to Thursday. ]
Really?
It's just that I know this isn't Rapture anymore and there's not really any need for it now. Not from a survival perspective.
But I just... liked how it felt. I liked sleeping with you. It was really nice.
[ Even the time she'd turned up, numb and tears down her face, the weight of Kady's death worn so heavily on her. It had still been nice, comforting. She'd felt safe. ]
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It's very effective
I feel like I won't ever complain about schoolwork again to be honest
[ .....Peter Graham will soon have many regrets for this affectionate sarcasm.
He has to take a few moments to gather his own thoughts. Peter knows how he feels about this, which is..very rare for him, being able to put a thumb right on his feelings, being able to see them so clearly. It's just... putting it into words, and maybe he doesn't have to β Luna's there in his mind, after all. But he finds himself pushing to anyway. ]
I know we don't have to anymore
But I want to. I'd like to
[ There it is, voiced so simple and clean and yet weighted with a lot. A lot. It isn't so much a necessity anymore, to be close like that. Luna's not so ill anymore, they aren't wanting for food or shelter. They aren't in any immediate danger (at the moment, anyway). There's no need for it. And yet thinking of it makes him feel good, happy and warmed and both trusted and able to trust. Now that the thought of it is there cupped gently in his hands, Peter can't possibly let it slip away. He finds that he can be honest too, in the ways Luna is. He can say how he feels. ]
I really liked it, too
It felt like I wasn't alone at all.
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[ He's rather good with Muggle technology, after all. And yes, this is another thing she is absolutely serious about.
She likes this though, likes this kind of conversation. The way his own amusement and affection rises with the exchange β for a couple of different reasons. It's still strange to know this is directed towards her, but there's a degree of pleasure knowing he feels... happy. Warm. These might be Peter's feelings towards her, but they're just that β Peter's feelings. For a boy filled with so much dread and sorrow, this is good. It suits him. She likes that he's happy.
And then his next messages come through and Luna's quietened for a moment. A bubble of something she's not sure of forms in her chest. She stares down at her phone with wide eyes β even without the need to protect one another, he still wants to. Emotion lurches in her, paired with a sudden shyness β because she knows that this probably won't ever happen back home. Nobody would want to.
But here, Peter accepts her friendship in a way that's never happened to her before. And she feels just that: accepted. Physical closeness out of want rather than need isn't something she's really experienced, after all.
She realises she's been silent a little too long, lost to internal musings. ]
I'm glad you want to, you know. I suppose I just didn't expect that you would, which why I said you didn't have to if you didn't want to.
But you want to.
[ He wants to. And he liked it. ]
I felt that, too. I felt
quite safe. Yes. Safe. With you.
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He'll make me do extra work
[ Somewhere along the way, he's become close enough with them, to joke, to tease, to feel.... so at ease. Ben. Luna. They're both so, so very important to him, and Peter's smile is more relaxed, more goofy, than it usually is. The emotions between them, the things he's able to pick up on from Luna, float in and press softly against him from the inside, and it's comforting.
That next bit though... There's a jolt through Peter, one she might be able to feel. It might almost feel unpleasant at first β something that reels him just a bit. Softly. Not violent, not harsh. Just this deep-rooted thing that catches him off-guard.
'Safe. With you.'
Peter's lashes flutter, mouth parting slightly where he sits on his bed, Fluid in his hand. There's a flicker of darker things: apprehension, doubt. His heart skips a beat, it remembersβ what he's done. The blood of his sister on his hands. An echo of fear breathes from Peter; she shouldn't feel safe with him. No one should.
....But. He rereads the words, the way Luna seems to be... sounding them out, making sense of things as she says it, displaying them so clearly, lucidly. His heart is afraid, but it's also... touched. It aches softly, not wholly unpleasant. A small lump settles in his throat as he types back, his heart opening up for her what it really wants to say to that. ]
Thank you, Luna
No one's ever really said that to me before
I'm sorry you didn't expect that I'd want to
[ He's thinking back to that bit of nervousness he'd felt from her, and it makes him feel a little pang that she'd ever have to think something like that. ]
I'm really glad you asked me
It makes me happy
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[ We're not supposed to be complaining, Peter. Remember? But he's still very much in danger of getting more work set out of this. It depends if Ben's feeling charitable and amused by this.
The jolt is felt, with just enough to question it silently through the connection. Luna holds her breath, listening, feeling β as if trying work out what it is. Had she said something wrong? Overstepped somehow? She waits with quiet apprehension until the gentle ache filters through. It's... a good ache, in a way.
She hadn't said something wrong at all, she realises. But something important. And Luna smiles to herself long before Peter texts her back. ]
Oh, it's alright.
[ To both things, really. ]
Well. It's true. That's how it felt.
You deserve to be happy, you know? You look nice when you're happy.
[ She means that sincerely. Peter... looks nice, anyway. But when he's happy... there's something about it. She still remembers on New Year's Eve, when she'd kissed his cheek and how his expression had changed. There's a way he looks when he's happy, the way his smiles seem to come easier β he seems less troubled. When he can just enjoy something, a moment, for what it is. She'd liked seeing him like that. ]
Do you want to wait for me at the end of school? We can walk to mine together?
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But if I was as smart as you, I'd probably like schoolwork more too
[ There's a compliment there towards her, a thing that outweighs his gentle teasing of the situation. There could also be some self-deprecation there, but... his words actually aren't rooted in that, this time. That fondness simply blossoms again, feather-soft and light and happy. She's the brightest in their class, Peter's sure of it, and he's warmed by complimenting Luna.
Once again, her very simplistic, to-the-point manner of wording things has him pausing to reflect on his own feelings. Seeing hers laid out so clearly β 'It's true; that's how it felt'.... just the fact she can say that, that it's how she felt... it helps him. Helps unravel his own feelings. He hides his so much, has learned how to do that, how to swallow feelings and emotions and numb himself that way β around her, he can... let himself feel, too.
And it really is a sweep of self-deprecation there when told he deserves to be happy. Peter truly doesn't believe that, but he... does believe that Luna genuinely thinks he does, and the ache in his chest softens. He dips his eyes shyly, even if she's not even there to see him in the moment. ]
You look nice when you're happy, too
You look a little bit surprised when you are
Like you're
feeling it just as new each time?
It's really nice
Like being free
[ He'd never have been able to tell someone things like that in the past. Peter's shyness flutters again, but he thinks maybe it's okay that it's there. It's not unpleasant β she's asking him if he wants to walk together after school, and the timidity isn't unpleasant. He's excited too, and lets himself feel that just as much, a sort of pleasant little squirming in his gut. ]
Definitely!
I'm looking forward to it
I'll see you soon, Luna