[ Because that's the part she doesn't understand in all this. If he doesn't want to waste her time, he doesn't want to hurt her but to keep her safe — why did he ask her? If that's how he sees himself. It's like he opened a door but then stands in the doorway, blocking the way in. The strange juxtaposition of being invited in and yet pushed away all at once.
It's an odd ache, hollow and longing all at once echoing around in her chest. Because it's those little things between them she thinks on, the moments that make her flutter — how much she... enjoys them. Now she can finally let herself enjoy them, without the horrors and dangers of this place breathing down their necks — just the ability to simply enjoy them for what they are, something soft and gentle. Something to let grow.
And yet there's fear of losing it. Because these things... they're things she recognises she could have, she's grown to want instead of simply need. Things she never thought she could ever have. Things she trusts with him to share with her, to work out what they are. Because she does trust him — she's never trusted anyone like this before in her life. ]
What if I do want you? You don't get to do that. You don't let me in and then tell me you're not worth it. You don't get to decide what I let hurt me. I know you would never want to hurt me.
[ As special as she is to him, it's the same in return. ]
You're allowed to be happy too. You're worthy of being happy.
no subject
[ Because that's the part she doesn't understand in all this. If he doesn't want to waste her time, he doesn't want to hurt her but to keep her safe — why did he ask her? If that's how he sees himself. It's like he opened a door but then stands in the doorway, blocking the way in. The strange juxtaposition of being invited in and yet pushed away all at once.
It's an odd ache, hollow and longing all at once echoing around in her chest. Because it's those little things between them she thinks on, the moments that make her flutter — how much she... enjoys them. Now she can finally let herself enjoy them, without the horrors and dangers of this place breathing down their necks — just the ability to simply enjoy them for what they are, something soft and gentle. Something to let grow.
And yet there's fear of losing it. Because these things... they're things she recognises she could have, she's grown to want instead of simply need. Things she never thought she could ever have. Things she trusts with him to share with her, to work out what they are. Because she does trust him — she's never trusted anyone like this before in her life. ]
What if I do want you? You don't get to do that. You don't let me in and then tell me you're not worth it. You don't get to decide what I let hurt me. I know you would never want to hurt me.
[ As special as she is to him, it's the same in return. ]
You're allowed to be happy too. You're worthy of being happy.