[ In a way, Peter had run away, too. He really could have tried to see John at least once, but he... hadn't. He'd been too afraid of rejection, maybe, hearing the way the exorcist didn't seem to want anything to do with anyone. It's easier to hide yourself so that you won't get hurt, instead of try and end up rejected. Those are lessons that aren't new to Peter by any means: distance learned well over time in his life. Even with his own parents, there was always some protective layering around himself. A coating of isolation. He learned that early on. Ways to make the hurt less, keep it numbed down.
Only.... only it does still hurt, he's finding. The shock holds onto that numbness for a few long moments, as Peter's brain tries to process the arrival on his doorstep ā and then John says 'I'm sorry', and that breaks the numbness right down the middle. Makes all of this real.
But Peter finds that he's shaking his head in response, that he doesn't like the idea of anyone being sorry to him. He doesn't deserve that; nobody should have to apologise to him. ]
No, it'sā you don't have to be. [ Peter's still all wide-eyed and stunned, standing unmoving in the doorway like a statue. ]
It's okay. [ He offers some kind of reassurance on autopilot; a way to temper down the upset, because that's something he learned, too. Hide from confrontation, or hurt, sweep it under the rug. Say and do what it takes to keep things peaceful. He's not explicitly aware that's what he's doing, but it's there. Trying to ignore the achey feeling in the pit of him, his own throat a bit tight. ]
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Only.... only it does still hurt, he's finding. The shock holds onto that numbness for a few long moments, as Peter's brain tries to process the arrival on his doorstep ā and then John says 'I'm sorry', and that breaks the numbness right down the middle. Makes all of this real.
But Peter finds that he's shaking his head in response, that he doesn't like the idea of anyone being sorry to him. He doesn't deserve that; nobody should have to apologise to him. ]
No, it'sā you don't have to be. [ Peter's still all wide-eyed and stunned, standing unmoving in the doorway like a statue. ]
It's okay. [ He offers some kind of reassurance on autopilot; a way to temper down the upset, because that's something he learned, too. Hide from confrontation, or hurt, sweep it under the rug. Say and do what it takes to keep things peaceful. He's not explicitly aware that's what he's doing, but it's there. Trying to ignore the achey feeling in the pit of him, his own throat a bit tight. ]